its only like 1.43am lols . & i'm sort of too sober to bed . today training was sort of fun . but i didn't enjoy much . and i felt so stress . keep on cant rmb the steps and movements . although is like everyone know the steps except me . i'm so embrassed . i dont know why , i just cant rmb . & i was like so stress . and i cry . lols . lame lols . i dont know why . feeling so sick and dizzy . tmrr have to work again . think of workin , i'm so absolutely so FCUK UPS . oh gosh uh .

maybb tmrr not going for work , but instead go for my neighbour malay wedding lols . he today say me and say that i long time nbr help him le , as he is doing for ppl wedding thins la lols , i rmb last months i went to help him lol during my school holidays . was rather damn fun , with alots of teenagers at the same age as me . like all malay except me lol . so damn freaking boring . so they will like my teacher teach me how to speak malay . but since i work and study & cheerleading , i didn't even went to visit him although he is just staying next door only lol . but i really miss those days , uncle you teach me alots of malay things lols . hahas .

although i'm not really know how to speak malay , but at least i understand what they talking , and like to disturb them lol . so lame right ? hahas , and my uncle was so very close to my dad lol . because my mummie's brother , was his best friends . and they always speak malay together lol . now even stay right beside my hse only . but i didn't even visit him since i study & join cheer warriors , thinking that i'm going to be super busy next week onwards because my courses is coming , yet ahmad uncle was good , saying that he going let me join this malay class , if i want , who let ppl who wanted learn malay lols , so i going to go mans , rmb that i just left the place abt 4 months ago , my malay turn bad again , so hoping to speak smoothly for my malay & english too ya , hahas , is like their books was kindergarden type de , no choice , because , must learn from the basic mars . lols . hahas .

thanks uncle , FOC , "free of charge " thanks alot , didn't charge me $$$ , so nice of you , promise to help yoo ok ? hahas , so yr customer wedding is on sat right ? before i go for the soccer match thing , at hougang , SAF opponent is sengkang , so before go there cheer cheer cheer , i go help you ok ? help you in the morning naaah , than after that i go for the soccer thing lol . but will bb rush lol . but hope everything went smoothly , yeps . so will not be working on sat . yuppee . sorry . ;)

i'm feeling so weary ;( . Quite a number of problems cropped up in my life . & I've got to admit that i'm not really being strong overcoming every obstacles . After those tears shed , is still the same . sometime went hme , parents is yanking into my ears every moment , making me so sick and irrated . i dont get it why they keep on yanking . really hope can find someone to chat my problem ya . ;(


am i obstructing my life ? . Being friend was enough , I rather miss you on my own. Than , having nothing. sometime i felt i'm too naive . all is i thinking only , in my mind only , but others think what . i dont even know . what for i care ? i'm feeling so sad . Yet , i still need to act as if i was alright.

How , i wish i could cry out loudly. But , crying does not help nor bring aids to the problem anymore. It'll only deepen the wound. so i rather not . i would have made myself gone to sleep instead. really hope to find the anditote to kill the sadness and happy after all . all the poison will soon gone . fuck all realistic out comings !

*** i'm begining to despise her for those fooking attitude. maybe she gossips behind or whatever but thats her problem & i wont be letting her taint my name in this way ;) I'm trying to look on positive den negative side of her & think I'll be happier in this way . I aint a perfectionist myself therefore I cant comment much on others no matter how much i hate someone . *grins --

so going to meet you malay friends soon ya . miss you guys alot . and stop disturb and bully me ya . hahas . ;) hoping the malay wedding is fun again like last time ya . hahas . oh gosh . plaes arhs . you guys stop talking nonsense again uh . teach me malay properly if not i got for the malay lesson than . & uncle , i confirm i free sure help you ok ? looking forwards on sat ya . hahas . and i like to disturb ppl using this malay words , "aku cinta padamu" , is like i msg everyone like this , or even say , they will so shook & say you crazy . hahas . some really think that . OMG !! .

yeps . vacation is coming so ya , my exam is coming , my vacation is on 26 match and end at 15 april , so have to go school , so lame , three weeks three weeks hoilday . what the fcuk . ? uh .

wah you damn long since you ever msg me , you mad at me is it ? sorry lol . kidding only only mars . not really done it on perposely lol .

and yahh . goodness sake , guys out there , msg me anytime ok ? BUT msg me NOT ask stupid question . ok ? lols . lame . LMAO *

pardon me if my english is bad . ok ? sorry ya .

ok la i'm taking a sleep now . nights guys ~ ;) is like is 2.54am already LOLS ~ dark circles . again . panda bear .